This smile is not mine

On the outside so happy,
A smile, a giggle, a golden curled beauty.
My lips are red and cheerful,
My cheeks pink with the blush of laughter,
My big brown eyes glint.

But I have a secret.

On the inside so sad,
A tear, a sob, an ugly stick.
My lips are paper whisps,
My cheeks have the yellow tint of a sickness,
My eyes are emotionless pits of charcole.

Why won't the sadness go away.
This dark pit is closing in on my heart.
Im afraid it will be to much,
how do you expect me to keep going?

Did I drop me some where in the world?
Have I lost the person I once was?
She's no longer there....

The only thing I know now is emptiness.
I wonder if I could escape,
Where's my heart, and can you give it back?